T+30: Where some things are better than before, but the white counts are still undectable

After 3 weeks of not being able to go in, I finally got to see Mom today!  Although we are still  nowhere with her counts, I know a few things are better, and for these we are grateful:

1. The mucositis is almost gone.
2. They tweaked her medications and changed a few, and this has eliminated the vomiting and diarrhea.
3. She is starting to eat.  Today she had tomato soup and a cinnamon roll.  Yesterday she had a bagel and cream cheese and a Dove bar.  Day before she managed a hard-boiled egg.  This is after 2 weeks of only liquid.
4. Her feet are a tiny bit better.  They were never black, it turns out.  She spoke wrong or I misunderstood.  They are big and red and there are blood blisters, but they are not black.  They are giving her a diuretic finally, to get the swelling down.  They discovered in a scan last week that she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart.  This should take care of that eventually.
5. She has a cute head.  It’s perfectly round and her ears fit it.  When I walked in the room I was so shocked at how much she looked like my grandfather!

For these things we still pray:

1. Unfortunately, she has a bacterial infection.  I don’t know the name of the germ, but it’s a common one found on our skin, and it made it way into her bloodstream through the tubing.  She had a fever for several days this week, but she hasn’t had one in 48 hours– I’m thinking they are killing it with a new antibiotic.  I’m wondering if her “undetectable” white blood cells have been busy wrangling this bug and that’s why they haven’t come over the hill yet?  They culture her blood daily– let’s hope this thing doesn’t show up in the sample soon.
2. Monday she is having a bone marrow biopsy.  It’s painful, and they said it’s too dangerous to put her out for it.  They claim they will use conscious sedation.  Hopefully, the person who does it this time is better at it than the person who did it last time.  I’d like for her not to suffer any more.
3. Monday’s biopsy could tell us who’s marrow it is (hers or mine) or it could be “inconclusive”.  I’m sure we won’t have any results back from that until Wednesday or Thursday.  It’s a BIG DEAL and we are nervous.  (BE ME, BE ME, BE ME!!!!)

But while we wait, I hope we the wait continues in relative peace.  The last couple of weeks have been rough.  I’ve been singing a song to my son at night recently, one of my favorites from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Jesus Christ Superstar, called “Everything’s Alright.”  He calls it the “calm down song”.  In the original, Mary Magdalene sang it to Jesus:

“Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh.
Don’t you know
Everything’s alright, yes, everything’s fine.
And we want you to sleep well tonight.
Let the world turn without you tonight.
If we try, we’ll get by, so forget all about us tonight.

Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you.
Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.
Then you’ll feel
Everything’s alright, yes, everything’s fine.
And it’s cool, and the ointment’s sweet
For the fire in your head and feet.
Close your eyes, close your eyes
And relax, think of nothing tonight.”

Close your eyes, close your eyes and relax.  Think of nothing tonight.