Day T+96: Just Sitting Here Watching the Wheels Go Round and Round

I’ve heard from a lot of people lately asking for an update on Mom, and I apologize for letting some time go by.  Let me assure everyone, it’s all good.

Since day T+66 we’ve all been learning to wake up and not feel that clutch of fear around our heart, and we’ve shed the dark cloud we’ve been living under.  For my part, I have headed to the beach, the pool, the playground and any point of blessed normalcy I can get too.  Mom has been home, regaining her strength, and she’s happy to be there.

She had a brief weekend in the hospital  last week after experiencing severe abdominal pain.  Doctors concluded that her digestive system is still really weakened from the chemo, and it might have been as simple as having fresh corn on the cob.  She was unhappy to be there, but it was, in the scheme of things, pretty quick.  While in the hospital they did a scan of her heart, because it has some fluid around it.  Yesterday at her monthly appointment with Dr. Smith, he said the scan looked good: function is right on, and the fluid pocket is small (and a result of the chemo).  Her counts are amazing.  She has over 7000 white cells, she’s making platelets on her own, her neutrophils are in the normal range– she only sometimes needs red blood cells (those are the last things the new marrow will manufacture).  She’s been weaned down to checking in at Hopkins every 8 days.  Yesterday Dr. Smith told her it was OK to eat a restaurant– in off hours– I think she’ll try that soon.

Saturday she resumed her old job as Michael’s barber.  He got one haircut with Daddy early in the summer, but since then he’s been saving his head for Grammy.  When he left he said, “It’s really great to have you back Grammy!”

So, our music of the moment?  Some John Lennon, because I for one have experienced a real and personal transformation.  I’ve seen a bigger picture this year and I’m no longer going to be stressed by the silly little things we let ourselves get caught up in–in any part of my life.  So there.

“People say I’m Crazy doing what I’m doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I’m o.k. they look at me kind of strange
Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I’m lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I’m doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don’t you miss the big time boy you’re no longer on the ball?

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

People asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them there’s no hurry…
I’m just sitting here doing time

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go”


This entry was posted in August 2012. Bookmark the permalink.

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